Posted in <3, Artistic, dear god, hope you got my letter, fangirly, geekery, Revelations

Breaking free of the Crutches

When you’re about to leave home for a while you realize how much things you will miss or things will change. Everytime you embark on a journey, you realize that things will  never be the same again – somehow you leave a part of you behind or you have to change some things to be able to cope with the upcoming changes in your life. You have to adjust to the place you are going to and prepare yourself mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally for the adventure ahead.

Since I am travelling soon, I know that I need to finally let go of things that I have been stuck on for a while  and which has been my crutch during the times that I needed  something to lean on.  Crutches like these are good for when you are trying to heal or wait for something to distract you, but since I am done with the healing and now that I am free from the bonds that hold me, what do I need these for?

What do I mean by crutches? I am thinking about the things that have held you back from your growth and have stunted your emotional and mental growth because of your hold on them.  These things are good for you, they are a part of you, but they are things that you can’t let go because of some sentimental value that you hold over them.

For example, I am an artist and I love the world of anime and manga. That per say is not bad at all. But, I cannot be an anime Otaku when I go to Japan and enter the world of Japanese Business. Though, I can still appreciate the art of anime and manga (and do it as well in my own private time), I cannot bring it into my daily life like I did before.  I have to let go of that crutch I held on so to so that not only will my mental life grow, my emotional and my creative side can explore a higher form of art that, who knows, may not only make me appreciate the art more, but also bring me to another level.

I have to let go of  something to get something. In order for me to get the trophy, I have to let go of crutch I am holding. I have to risk letting it go to fly.

To do so, I have to sell all my things and make myself mature physically. I believe that though I will always appreciate the art, I will also become a better fan if I go beyond fangirling to understanding the culture that created it and understanding the art behind it.  And I would also use the knowledge I gained from it to create my own story, which is even better right?

To let go, to gain something. To break free, to reach for the stars.

I have to convince myself to do that. Within three months. Transform myself from Otaku to a woman of higher understanding and prepare myself for the world beyond.





A 30 something fangirl, writer, artist and dreamer, a princess by day and ninja by night who believes in magic, true love and wants to change the world one brush stroke at a time. Marikit is a self-taught artist learning more about art and the world around her.

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