I’m like a child trying to do everything, say everything and be everything all at once. – John Hartford
I have always loved this quote from John Hartford because it says some things about my personality. I have always been a multitasker – trying to do everything at the same time and cramming things I have to do in a small timeframe. Sometimes, it works –as I have learned to work well under pressure, but sometimes, it only causes me to miss out, or not give much attention to detail which keeps me from giving my best work.
It’s hard for me to stick to one thing at a time because my head is always swimming with ideas that all want to get out. It is overwhelming and really frustrating since I hear all my muses talking and there is only one of me to do the writing. Though, some writers would call me fortunate to have so many ideas, sometimes, I think otherwise. I want to be fully able to finish a story – a novel, straight without any diversion and go on to the next but, it just doesn’t happen that way. In the end, I am left with a bunch of half-finished manuscripts and a lot of frustrated energy.
I am trying to get over it. Putting notes in separate notebooks and keeping focus on my novel only – but the ideas still come. I am only hoping that I succeed in organizing my thoughts better so I can finish all of the stories in my head one at a time.
The second part of the quote refers to my being too expressive. When I am with someone, and I notice something and start talking – I usually don’t know when to shut up. It used to be really bad before, people had started calling me tactless. But now, I have – tried at least to hold my silence. I have learned to keep my mouth shut. I do have the blessing of expression but I really have to rein it in. Sometimes, there are things that shouldn’t be said at all.
The last part of the quote is a stab at me. I admit, I can be a busybody and I could be overbearing. I have a dominant attitude and I like being in the thick of things, which puts people off because people think that I am either too bossy or just plain pain in the ass because I keep on getting in their business. Though it was never in my intent to do so, I keep being misunderstood. I guess, again my problem is that I never know when to stop. In my rush and want to help people, I step over boundaries and pride that make them feel uncomfortable. I need to pull it back – I need to learn how to pull it back so I would be better around people.
Learning how to grow up from my childishness is exactly what 1 Cor 13:11 is teaching us:
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.
The Lord is telling me to GROW UP from the childishness I have identified be more focused, be tactful and conscious of how I act around others. I should let others work and only help them when they ask or when they really need. I need to be more aware of myself and to rein myself in so I do not step on any boundaries.
This revelation can help me to be a better friend, a better Christian and a better person in the future. It will also help me retain, rebuild and make bonds with people better.