Posted in dear god, hope you got my letter, idiosyncrasies, Megarants

What’s wrong with being ME?

I should have just kept my big mouth shut. When I told my mother that I just simply didn’t feel like joining my cousins for their yearly drinking session, that didn’t mean that I didn’t like them or didn’t want to join them FOREVER. I simply, at that moment in time, didn’t feel like joining them.  It launched a whole discussion about making memories, and the “bonding” and to make matters worse, I was judged because I didn’t join them.

So what if I am different from others? So what if I prefer reading to watching silly movies with them? So what if my choice in music, hobby or likes contrasts or is different from them? It doesn’t make me a bad person or a bitter person. It hurts whenever people tell me that I am ANTISOCIAL or BITTER  or that I haven’t fully Surrendered it all  just because I don’t feel like being in a NOISY crowd at the moment.  I didn’t steal, kill their joy or ruin their fun. I simply withdrew from it so I wouldn’t- isn’t that kinder than being the KILLJOY in the crowd?

I’m pissed off. I am so pissed off that I want to tell her off. BUT, it’s my mother. I respect her. I love her with all my heart. She’s a blessing. BUT, really there are times she could get to me. She’s got a loud and pushy personality -which is alright with me up until the point where she’s pushing her nose up into my personal space. That’s when I get touchy, irritable and angry.  And when she basically told me that I was WRONG in not going to the DRINKING party that night, and I was making excuses. It really tore my temper into shreds.

She insisted that I lost the chance to make memories with them. No, I didn’t. That’s NOT the only way for me to make memories with them. GEESH. So I am NOT A PARTY ANIMAL or a SOCIAL BUTTERFLY like my sister, big deal.  I hate it when I am being forced into social situations that I don’t really care about.  I hate it when she judges me because I like my independent hobbies. I mean, I can’t exactly talk to my cousins about what I am writing about- they don’t care about it.  They don’t care (and they mock me) for my Japanese Culture love.  We barely have things in common.  I have no interest in idiotic jokes, drinking, sports, or the current movies. So sue me!

I have not done them wrong. WHY JUDGE ME FOR IT? Why scorn me for liking the things I like? I don’t judge them for the things they like but, why me?

… Tell me, what’s wrong with being me?

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Author:

A 30 something fangirl, writer, artist and dreamer, a princess by day and ninja by night who believes in magic, true love and wants to change the world one brush stroke at a time. Marikit is a self-taught artist learning more about art and the world around her.

2 thoughts on “What’s wrong with being ME?

  1. Yeah, apparently something is WRONG with me too because I don’t like to hang out around people who are DRINKING, whether they are family or not. Go figure.

    It’s difficult to be in any situation where you feel you don’t fit in, but family especially. Conversations about alcoholic beverages can only take you so far…and the last place I’d want to be is at a drinking party with family.

    1. Exactly. I drink – but at that time, I just didn’t want to. So apparently, I’m wrong because of that. I just don’t get it. I guess since we don’t follow the norm and we see past it, we’re considered “weird”.

      I could forgive that. I mean, I understand that they can’t possibly perceive what I am thinking right now. But, I just had to get it off my chest

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