Posted in because i'm a girl, dear god, hope you got my letter, deep thoughts

Overthinking

I wonder if I am thinking too much? There are many things in my life right now that are stressing me out – business, friends, work,  boyfriend, self. It just makes me think and think without stopping and it’s making me crazy. I think, all this thinking is making me paranoid. Yet, I just couldn’t stop thinking. I cant even stop thinking if I am overthinking things! What the hell?

I honestly question myself:

  • What am I doing here?
  • Am I good enough?
  • Why can’t I write?
  • Why did they leave?
  • what am i doing wrong?
  • what else can I do?

Emptiness. Loneliness. Insanity. Paranoia. Anxiety. Depression. Regret. Remorse. Fear. Unworthiness. All this, I keep inside. I have no confidence at all. I am unmotivated and uninspired. I lost it. That sparkle or glow? It’s all gone.

Who am I kidding? It’s been gone for a year.  I kept on pretending that it’s there but its gone. I haven’t been happy with the things I’ve been doing. I haven’t written anything decent. I haven’t been proud of myself. I couldn’t even be happy.

Yet, I have no one to talk to.

Life is unfair.

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Author:

A 30 something fangirl, writer, artist and dreamer, a princess by day and ninja by night who believes in magic, true love and wants to change the world one brush stroke at a time. Marikit is a self-taught artist learning more about art and the world around her.

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