Posted in <3, everyday life, idiosyncrasies

Meeting Mom

mother_in_law_c One of the most nerve wracking experiences a woman would have to go through in her life is MEETING MOM-  or rather meeting the mother of the man she loves. After all, men don’t usually introduce their girlfriends to their mothers on a regular basis. Usually, only the women they really are serious about are introduced to mom. And so girls, take it as a compliment if your current beau decides to take you home and introduce you to mom. But what men don’t understand is that this simple event is a BIG DEAL  for us women.

“Come on, it’s just meeting MOM! She’s a sweetheart!”

Yeah, boyfriend, I bet she is. But the point is:

She is still his mother and if you do get married to her son you get to deal with her.

Since she is the mother, she has some expectations of the woman she wants taking care of her baby boy.

A woman’s nightmare is to have conflict with her mother-in-law because the woman usually never wins. (SHE’S THE MOM AFTER ALL)

This is why most women are afraid of Meeting Mom and in my experience it could be nervewracking and scary.  You see, as women, we want to appear wonderful to the mother of the man we love. But, even as the guy describes his mother, it would still be different because the mother usually shows her more gentle side to her offspring.  Aside from this, the fact that she’s taken care of that man all his lives, leaves her with propriety over him.

I mean seriously, you just won’t hand over something so precious and  that you worked and sacrificed for all your life to someone who would not take care or love just the way you do. So, in short, even if Mothers deny it, there are expectations to be met and the girlfriend has to pass those expectations or more. Because if not, and if you don’t see eye to eye with your soon to be mom-in-law, it’s not going to be pretty.

So, this is why some girls over do it during the first meeting with mommy. Some act prim and proper and nice  – and while that is all well and good, I believe that the best way to get to know the mother in law is to be yourself and to talk to her. Even if it’s scary.

Here are some things I noticed that would help you  to get you on her good side:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Ask her questions about your man. It shows how much you want to learn about him. No doubt, she would love sharing stories with you too because women love to talk about the men they love together.

Share stories about your relationship and ask for advice.  A mom in law wants to be needed. Asking for advice would help her know that she you want her to be a part of this relationship as a counselor.

Reassure her that your man talks about her too. By telling her that her son said good things about her, she is reassured of her son’s love for her. She just doesn’t want you stealing the show. After all, you are another woman in his life 😀

Treat her as a blessing.  Mother in laws are blessings because they are the reason why the man you love is there. Treat her as one. She was the one who took care of him for the longest time you should me thankful to her.

Meeting Mom shouldn’t be too bad if you keep a good attitude about it. Don’t treat her like a monster or the police. Remember that, she is a woman too and if you work together with her, it will help strengthen your relationship with the man you love as well.

 

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Author:

A 30 something fangirl, writer, artist and dreamer, a princess by day and ninja by night who believes in magic, true love and wants to change the world one brush stroke at a time. Marikit is a self-taught artist learning more about art and the world around her.

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