Posted in idiosyncrasies, the office

Notes for the New HR Ninja

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I started training the new me today.  Yup, this NINJA has officially started to train the new girl who will officially take my place as office Ninja/HR.

I have given it a lot of thought and have joked a lot about how I am a Ninja when I work and mind you I am not kidding. Being the office HR is tough you have to be at several places at once. You have to finish pristine reports, certifications and attend to everyone’s problems but your own on time – all on schedule with time to buff your nails and drink your creamy latte.  In addition to this, they expect you to be all cheery and bubbly and accommodating. Sounds tough? I was being mild about it.

So the new girl needs to learn the following to become an efficient HR in our office:

  1. Be there at all times when needed. (Yes, that includes holidays, midnights and lunch breaks)
  2. Multitask and do about a dozen things at once and finish them all in time.
  3. Teleport from one place to another, almost instantly finishing your missions all at once.
  4. Carry on two or three conversations at the same time.
  5. Be detail oriented and follow rules to the letter.
  6. The Art of Deception. Smile, and never show that you are pissed off.
  7. Churn out Certifications at record speed.
  8. Move and type like the wind.
  9. Disappear and appear at appropriate times and bear satisfactory to excellent results from your missions.
  10. Work on schedule – or be early for them.

In short, the new girl must be prepared, like a  good ninja is to lose herself, her social life in the office and her sanity to be able to do all the tasks ahead of her. I really do not know how I got through my last three years.  She has to remember that the office Ninja works the jobs of four people – and gets compensated the least. But at least, she helps people the most.

Perhaps, somewhere along the way, I learned how to do the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu.  Perhaps, I have levelled up as a Ninja.

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Oh god, I’ll miss this job.

NOT.

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Author:

A 30 something fangirl, writer, artist and dreamer, a princess by day and ninja by night who believes in magic, true love and wants to change the world one brush stroke at a time. Marikit is a self-taught artist learning more about art and the world around her.

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