Someone give me my sanity and quiet back. Please. It got lost somewhere between the Madhouse and CrazyTown. If anyone finds it, let me know. I need it by Monday, if possible. Reward? A lifetime of gratitude. Sorry, my money is low too…
For business reasons, I have to preserve a little bit of outward signs of my sanity. It’s important. I need to appear alright in the office even if I am nearing a nervous breakdown inside. I have to appear cool and composed. I have to try to keep my emotions bottled up inside. It’s an office, after all. I have to keep the shining, shimmering splendid, and happy happy joy joy attitude about me. It’s my role. I have to fit into that.
I guess I am guilty because I threw a HUGE ASS HISSY FIT last Friday after class. Maybe it’s because I was emotionally fed up already with the stress that my brother’s sickness had gotten on me. Maybe I was just not sleeping well. Maybe, I was just pissed off at that person and annoyed. There are many reasons for this. But really, It’s I guess emotional, mental and physical breakdown.
I mean, my office work is stressful too. It’s not that I am not used to it. I love my job really. It’s just that I have backlog up to Jurassic Period. I have requests that are piled up and there are still things (Database, refiling) to be done. I need to start prioritizing and working like a mad woman next week. I am looking forward to another frenetic week. But, I guess that’s better than doing nothing. I am grateful that I have an insanity inducing job.
Yet, people expect that when they walk into the office, there is a sane person in the Admin Department. They do not expect a madwoman in three inch heels to breathe down their necks just for a requests ( At the very least, I am not like the OTHER department). So, I shall take it. I shall swallow the sanity pill to keep my job, to keep people happy and to keep my self image.
But honestly, sometimes, a lucid state is worse than the world of fantasy… 🙂