Lately I have seen progress in myself. I thought there will never be a time when I actually would like myself again, but I was wrong. I find myself now, quite satisfied with what I have- though of course, still working on things to better myself. It seems that somehow I have struck a good balance within myself that made me happier.
How do I know I progressed? First, I am not anymore a thrill-seeker like before, that was in my 20s. Now that I am a bit older I am looking for a calmer, more peaceful route. I may be on the road to settling down. I don’t mind to tie the knot any time, but first, I think that practicality calls me to be more cautious and more logical about things. I have learned that marraige wasn’t a game. So, this time, if things work out (which I hope it does) I believe that I would be ready for it.
From the woes of depression, which I wore for a long time, I decided to pick myself up from the rubbish and rebuild myself. It took quite some time to get where I am right now. I went from all wild and crazy to now calm and collected. I almost forgot why I was like that in the first place.
Yes, yes,yes… it’s the same person. And no, that wasn’t a Halloween Costume. That was how I used to dress before. I was a crazy bartender japanophile who didn’t care – not that I don’t think that that’s cool now, but I guess, I outgrew it. The Harujuku Look won’t fit here in my present state. I have to adjust to a new life – the life I used to reject. The life of an Office Lady.
It’s not that bad, in fact it’s intellectually stimulating (sometimes). The people I am with (at least , my friends) are wonderful. 🙂 The others, well, I won’t mention them. The point is that I have fully accepted it and am now living in it. Perhaps, that alone, the acceptance is Progress.
Second proof of progress is that I look better now than before. I am more beautiful, leaner, healthier and well more active than before. I lost more weight in the last four months than 3 years combined and that’s a big leap.
It took focus, discipline and hard work to do that. Some qualities I believed that I lacked before. Though there are times that I still am ADHD, and OC. I still believe that I am on the road to where I am supposed to be at this moment: success and happiness..
There are still a lot of things to do to better myself. But I think that it’s better to stick to things one at a time before jumping in and taking all at once. I’ll get there eventually and i know things are going to be all right!