Posted in <3, deep thoughts, idiosyncrasies

Progress Report of a Perpetual Work in Progress

Lately I have seen progress in myself. I thought there will never be a time when I actually would like myself again, but I was wrong. I find myself now, quite satisfied with what I have- though of course, still working on things to better myself. It seems that somehow I have struck a good balance within myself that made me happier.

How do I know I progressed? First, I am not anymore a thrill-seeker like before, that was in my 20s. Now that I am a bit older I am looking for a calmer, more peaceful route. I may be on the road to settling down.  I don’t mind to tie the knot any time, but first, I think that practicality calls me to be more cautious and more logical about things. I have learned that marraige wasn’t a game. So, this time, if things work out (which I hope it does) I believe that I would be ready for it.

From the woes of depression, which I wore for a long time, I decided to pick myself up from the rubbish and rebuild myself. It took quite some time to get where I am right now. I went from all wild and crazy to now calm and collected. I almost forgot why I was like that in the first place.

Yes, yes,yes… it’s the same person. And no, that wasn’t a Halloween Costume. That was how I used to dress before. I was a crazy bartender japanophile who didn’t care – not that I don’t think that that’s cool now, but I guess, I outgrew it. The Harujuku Look won’t fit here in my present state. I have to adjust to a new life – the life I used to reject. The life of an Office Lady.

It’s not that bad, in fact it’s intellectually stimulating (sometimes). The people I am with (at least , my friends) are wonderful. 🙂  The others, well,  I won’t mention them. The point is that I have fully accepted it and am now living in it. Perhaps, that alone, the acceptance is Progress.

Second proof of progress is that I look better now than before. I am more beautiful, leaner, healthier and well more active than before. I lost more weight in the last four months than 3 years combined and that’s a big leap.

How did I do it?

It took focus, discipline and hard work to do that. Some qualities I believed that I lacked before. Though there are times that  I still am ADHD, and OC. I still believe that I  am on the road to where I am supposed to be at this moment:  success and happiness..

There are still a lot of things to do to better myself. But I think that it’s better to stick to things one at a time before jumping in and taking all at once. I’ll get there eventually and i know things are going to be all right!

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Author:

A 30 something fangirl, writer, artist and dreamer, a princess by day and ninja by night who believes in magic, true love and wants to change the world one brush stroke at a time. Marikit is a self-taught artist learning more about art and the world around her.

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