Posted in The Old Life

Questions On Trust and Goodbyes….

I doubt if anything really matters anymore if we do not trust. How can someone love without it? How can there be friendship or peace or even a running business without it? I doubt that people can sleep well at night if there is no trust. But it is there, it exists – but you really need to earn it, live it, love it.

I felt the pain of losing trust from someone I held dear. I lost my parent’s trust. I lost the trust of people who believed in me. The pain is unbearable. And I admit it was due to my negligence and or mistakes.

But what if you really were not doing anything? What if you really just need time and space and still there was no trust? What if you wanted to earn the trust of someone higher than the one you are breaking? Should you gamble?

I believe thats what I did. No matter how it hurt. No matter how my heart aches. No matter how I cry. No matter how painful the words that person will say. I chose them . I chose myself over him.

Maybe that is my fault too. Maybe my fault is that I love myself too much.

Is it worth saying goodbye to a person just like that? I really do not know. If that person loses trust in you. Is it worth coming back? I do not know.

There was pain. A lot of it. For weeks I have battled with it, but definitely and ultimately, the decision remains. I will trust myself more, love myself more — and no one else.

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Author:

A 30 something fangirl, writer, artist and dreamer, a princess by day and ninja by night who believes in magic, true love and wants to change the world one brush stroke at a time. Marikit is a self-taught artist learning more about art and the world around her.

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