“ღI’m like a child trying to do everything, say everything and be everything all at onceღ“
I feel like a fool. I am already 28 yet, I feel like a child. I feel like I do not ever want to regret anything in my life. So I am reliving my youth, trying to do everything so I do not ever feel like my youth was lacking. Though, I could never catch up to all the things I wanted to do in my young life. Maybe because I was expecting too much of it. Maybe I was looking at it through rose colored glasses and never really seeing the truth of anything. I was blind to reality. I was thinking that everything would just be like in books or in feel good teen movies or college drama where everything will all be alright. Maybe that is why I still feel like my college experience is still lacking, that I stilll have things left to do in the academe. Maybe that is why I could not move on.
Kodomo mitai ni… Baka ja nai?
Am I not a fool for trying too hard? I think I am. I am like a child, I try to do everything. Though, because of it. I feel now that it is all worth it.What I have under my belt, is a treasure hold a multitude of experience that are priceless and that no one could match. I think instead of being like a child, what I achieved was quite the opposite. I actually became more mature. With each experience, I made my youth full.I tasted youth like no one did and finally I think, I could move on.
What would the future hold for this little girl who wants to live in neverland? Who knows? All I know is that a part of me would never grow up. I will still be forever like a child.And I would be proud of it because, that is the part of me that I love the most.