Posted in cheverloo

Loneliest Christmas

It’s cold out. I don’t want to go out in the cold. I hate the cold, the trees are all bare, except for evergreens and pine trees, but they are covered in white snow, and the wind is bitter. It nips through me. It seems so gloomy outside, or maybe, it is just me. I hate winter.

The longer nights and shorter days give me no motivation to work. I am sick, cold, and most of all, LONELY. Yeah, this is going to be a great Holiday Season.

This is my first Christmas alone, without a big family surrounding me. This year it’s going to be me and Oneesan. Maybe Andrew, if he shows up. He has his own family to be with – I do not expect him to be here. This is going to be the loneliest Christmas ever.

I miss the big Christmases in the Philippines. Where we load our car with presents, dress up and talk to cousins and aunts and tell stories. At 12 everyone distributes presents and start eating Noche Buena, then games start dancing — oh the noise and the kids running around. The good food, the calandracas my Lola makes, hot chocolate, Suman, puto bumbong, and the Roast beef! Oh! That’s Christmas.

I miss most especially hugging my parents and telling them I love them this season. I miss the surprised look of my brother and sister when they open their presents. I miss the funny gifts my friends give me. I miss Christmas Parties, gimmicks and Christmas shopping with my sister. We always had so much fun then.

I miss caroling. I miss Simbang Gabi.I miss walking around Christmas bazaars. I miss the decorations Mom puts up and the laughter over the meals. I miss getting random Christmas calls from friends. I miss it. Badly.

At least, last year, I had Al’s family… This year…

God save me from the sadness. I wish that somehow, I could celebrate Christmas at home again…

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Author:

A 30 something fangirl, writer, artist and dreamer, a princess by day and ninja by night who believes in magic, true love and wants to change the world one brush stroke at a time. Marikit is a self-taught artist learning more about art and the world around her.

21 thoughts on “Loneliest Christmas

  1. My dear Maria.
    I’m sorry you have to go through this. Many people don’t realize what they have, until they lose it. I have to say, sadly you do.
    I’m sure those good times will come back, soon, I really do hope.
    I know we all need of someone, especially on these holidays, and you’re family are missing the same moments you are. You are unforgettable.
    I’m with you Maria, I share your sadness. Thanks for opening your heart to us.

  2. My dear Maria.
    I’m sorry you have to go through this. Many people don’t realize what they have, until they lose it. I have to say, sadly you do.
    I’m sure those good times will come back, soon, I really do hope.
    I know we all need of someone, especially on these holidays, and you’re family are missing the same moments you are. You are unforgettable.
    I’m with you Maria, I share your sadness. Thanks for opening your heart to us.

  3. My dear Maria.
    I’m sorry you have to go through this. Many people don’t realize what they have, until they lose it. I have to say, sadly you do.
    I’m sure those good times will come back, soon, I really do hope.
    I know we all need of someone, especially on these holidays, and you’re family are missing the same moments you are. You are unforgettable.
    I’m with you Maria, I share your sadness. Thanks for opening your heart to us.

  4. To be totally honest, I am not happy at all about what you did to our friends in the wig situation. I’m very dissapointed with you.
    However, There’s no way I can let you be alone on Christmas. I’ve been alone a couple Christmas Day’s and it’s terrible, they still haunt me. I can’t allow that to happen to a friend. If you don’t have any invites to do stuff with other folks, you can come over and do stuff with Tach and I.
    I have to work Christmas Eve, but only until 7:30pm because we close early. You can either meet me at the Starbucks or wait until I’m home. (Metra will be running) We can bake cakes, I promised Tach Christmas cupcakes. You can help me decorate them! We can also watch Christmas stuff on TV.
    Christmas Day we’ll exchange gifts and go to Tach’s parents for dinner. (I’ll ask if it’s ok if we bring you along, I don’t think it would be a problem. ^_^”) Then we’re gonna see a movie with Nick and Maz. Should be alot of fun!
    Let me know if you’re interested. :3

  5. To be totally honest, I am not happy at all about what you did to our friends in the wig situation. I’m very dissapointed with you.
    However, There’s no way I can let you be alone on Christmas. I’ve been alone a couple Christmas Day’s and it’s terrible, they still haunt me. I can’t allow that to happen to a friend. If you don’t have any invites to do stuff with other folks, you can come over and do stuff with Tach and I.
    I have to work Christmas Eve, but only until 7:30pm because we close early. You can either meet me at the Starbucks or wait until I’m home. (Metra will be running) We can bake cakes, I promised Tach Christmas cupcakes. You can help me decorate them! We can also watch Christmas stuff on TV.
    Christmas Day we’ll exchange gifts and go to Tach’s parents for dinner. (I’ll ask if it’s ok if we bring you along, I don’t think it would be a problem. ^_^”) Then we’re gonna see a movie with Nick and Maz. Should be alot of fun!
    Let me know if you’re interested. :3

  6. To be totally honest, I am not happy at all about what you did to our friends in the wig situation. I’m very dissapointed with you.
    However, There’s no way I can let you be alone on Christmas. I’ve been alone a couple Christmas Day’s and it’s terrible, they still haunt me. I can’t allow that to happen to a friend. If you don’t have any invites to do stuff with other folks, you can come over and do stuff with Tach and I.
    I have to work Christmas Eve, but only until 7:30pm because we close early. You can either meet me at the Starbucks or wait until I’m home. (Metra will be running) We can bake cakes, I promised Tach Christmas cupcakes. You can help me decorate them! We can also watch Christmas stuff on TV.
    Christmas Day we’ll exchange gifts and go to Tach’s parents for dinner. (I’ll ask if it’s ok if we bring you along, I don’t think it would be a problem. ^_^”) Then we’re gonna see a movie with Nick and Maz. Should be alot of fun!
    Let me know if you’re interested. :3

  7. Ik now it’s been ages since we’ve had a decent convo but if I had the car (have to wait another two months *shakes fist at DMV*), I’d totally offer you an invitation to my place for Christmas. My folks are always asking about people coming over so I’m sure they wouldn’t have minded setting an extra place at the table.
    Buut again, seeing as how the car *isn’t* available (-_-), I’ll try to give you a call or something on Christmas day to say hi, maybe send something in the mail too (that is if I remember your address…*looks through pile of papers*).
    Wish there was something else I could do from here *hugs tight* take care!
    -mike

  8. Ik now it’s been ages since we’ve had a decent convo but if I had the car (have to wait another two months *shakes fist at DMV*), I’d totally offer you an invitation to my place for Christmas. My folks are always asking about people coming over so I’m sure they wouldn’t have minded setting an extra place at the table.
    Buut again, seeing as how the car *isn’t* available (-_-), I’ll try to give you a call or something on Christmas day to say hi, maybe send something in the mail too (that is if I remember your address…*looks through pile of papers*).
    Wish there was something else I could do from here *hugs tight* take care!
    -mike

  9. Ik now it’s been ages since we’ve had a decent convo but if I had the car (have to wait another two months *shakes fist at DMV*), I’d totally offer you an invitation to my place for Christmas. My folks are always asking about people coming over so I’m sure they wouldn’t have minded setting an extra place at the table.
    Buut again, seeing as how the car *isn’t* available (-_-), I’ll try to give you a call or something on Christmas day to say hi, maybe send something in the mail too (that is if I remember your address…*looks through pile of papers*).
    Wish there was something else I could do from here *hugs tight* take care!
    -mike

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