Of course I’m depressed. It was supposed to be our 3rd year anniversary in 2 days. The fucker broke my heart in 2 just about 4 months ago. Though, I grew and I DID get over the fact that I got dumped, I am still hurting. I am mad, angry, sad, and heartbroken. I dont want him back I just want him to apologize. That is all I want him to do then maybe I will have closure. I think that I feel too emotionally fucked up right now that I do not think I can handle anything in a relationship. I will only hurt the next guy I date.
So I finally made a decision. I’m not going to date. Not for a long while. No one deserves to be hurt as much as I am hurting right now, and as much as it did before. That was horrible. If I didn’t have the mental tenacity and if i did not go through what i did before. I would have gone totally batshit insane. Maybe that’s why I’ve been drinking so much lately.
No, I am not a raging alchoholic. I am just drinking my problems away. Laughing all my worries away. It’s this way, I think. I am busy, I have my own place and I have a lot to do. I feel so unaccomplished right now – but I know that it will all pass .. i just hope this feeling goes away soon because I hate it.
I think I should go for a walk. I need to go to the bank anyway.
I’ll see ya later.